you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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