I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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