You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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