i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
