I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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