ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
