lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
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Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
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Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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