he wants to bone in the snuggie
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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