woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
