so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
