We named our party play list daddy issues
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
