this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He kissed a someone with a penis
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
