Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Randomize
