So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
