What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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