hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
