just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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