He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Someone stole a lamp last night.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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