I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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