Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
