we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize