I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
