how can u be prego again
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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