Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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