well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
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I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
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I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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