I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
