And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
