She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
