Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
