my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
well you can't waste a boner
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
