I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
