4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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