can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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