Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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