I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize