she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Come on in and take your pants off
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