So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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