just come out here and I will go home with you...
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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