Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
