I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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