so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
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yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
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Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize