i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
