youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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