I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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