Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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