Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
