youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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