I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
