brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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