Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
