I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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