You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
