Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
