I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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