i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
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I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
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