I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I am one with the molecules
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