my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
